Ready or not.

Throughout my whole life I’ve set so many goals for myself. As these goals were set, so was the pressure to fulfill them. Everything from getting a tattoo to getting my doctorate to traveling the world as a single woman. I’ve put this enormous amount of pressure on myself to not regret ANYTHING later in life. My biggest fear right now is reaching a point when I’m thirty or forty or on my death bed and saying to myself, “If only I would have taken that chance or jumped off that ledge.” I’m terrified. I’m terrified of making decisions because I’m terrified I’ll wish I’d done things differently. I’m terrified that I’ll see someone else’s life and be envious of it. But as I think and process all of these things, I’m coming to the realization that the fear of regrets is almost more paralyzing than the potential reality that I could have done things differently.

I’m limiting myself and hurting myself so deeply because of this fear. And I’m ready to get rid of it.

THEREFORE!
(drumrolls and stuff)
I’m doing it.
I’m starting this project I’ve been dreaming of for way too long.
I’m going to do a 52-week project very similar to the 365 project a lot of photographers do. Usually, a person would challenge themselves to take a picture a day (self portraits most of the time) in order to challenge themselves to learn new techniques or editing styles or whatever. I, however, do not have the attention span or the time to really put enough effort into a project of that proportion. So I’m shrinking it a little bit. Every week for a year I’ll try a new genre, new lighting, new editing…new SOMETHING to finally challenge myself to get outside of this stupid box I’ve put myself in.

I had a whole bunch of rules and guidelines for myself, but heck. Screw it! I’m sick of regulating myself and not allowing myself the freedom to just experiment and learn and (heaven forbid) FAIL! I love this. Be looking out for my first project. I have a ballin’ idea.

Here I go. Ready or not.